Talking to your child about donation: why, when, and with which words
Should you tell your child about egg or sperm donation? What research shows, at what age, with which words, and anonymity in the age of DNA tests.
Read the articleStress does not cause infertility. However, infertility itself causes considerable stress — and that is what needs to be addressed.
Let’s start by dispelling the most damaging myth: ‘Just relax, it’ll happen’. Studies investigating a link between stress and IVF failure have found no clinically significant effect. No one has ever failed an embryo transfer because they were too tense. However, the levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms measured in patients undergoing treatment are comparable to those seen in people with serious chronic illnesses. That is what needs to be taken seriously.
You don’t have to be feeling unwell to seek help; in fact, it’s even better to do so before things get that far. Warning signs to look out for: persistent sleep problems, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, constant irritability, a feeling that life has been on hold for months, repeated arguments with your partner about the issue, or the feeling that you can no longer make any decisions. Deep sadness lasting more than two weeks, or dark thoughts, warrant a prompt consultation with a doctor.
Structured psychological interventions — cognitive behavioural therapy, facilitated support groups, mindfulness-based programmes — reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms in patients undergoing treatment. This is their proven benefit, and it is sufficient in itself. The effect on pregnancy rates, however, remains a matter of debate and should not be used as a selling point.
Other things that help, without being a form of therapy: talking to other people going through the same experience, via a patients’ organisation; setting clear boundaries with those around you about what you do and do not wish to share; and deciding in advance, with your partner, what you will do in the event of failure, rather than improvising at the most difficult moment. The article on the number of attempts addresses this issue.
Almost all assisted reproductive technology (ART) clinics have a psychologist on staff, whose consultations are free of charge and often under-utilised: the fact that you are receiving treatment abroad does not prevent you from seeking support from a psychologist in France. Consultations with a private psychologist may be partially covered by the public psychological support scheme (upon referral) and by many private health insurance schemes. Patient organisations — such as Collectif BAMP, Association Maia and others — offer support groups and helplines.
Two simple, practical tips. Firstly, set aside time when the subject is off-limits: one evening a week without talking about assisted reproduction, logistics or results. It may seem artificial, but it works. Secondly, accept that you move at different paces: one of you may want to keep going, whilst the other needs a breather. Disagreement isn’t a lack of love; it’s a difference in pace, and talking it through prevents it from turning into recriminations.
The journey is the same, but more solitary, with no one to go through the process with you. Before you start, identify one or two trusted people to whom you can confide everything, and a professional. This isn’t an admission of weakness; it’s the same logic as putting together a complete medical file before setting off on a journey. The article dedicated to the journey of women on their own covers the other aspects.
No. Studies have not shown any clinically significant effect of stress on outcomes. However, infertility causes a level of anxiety comparable to that of serious chronic illnesses, and it is this that needs to be managed.
If you experience persistent sleep disturbances, a loss of interest, constant irritability, repeated conflicts within the relationship, or deep sadness lasting more than two weeks. You don’t have to be feeling particularly unwell to benefit from seeing a psychologist.
Cognitive-behavioural therapies, facilitated support groups and mindfulness programmes reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms. Their effect on pregnancy rates remains a matter of debate.
Yes. Psychologists at French assisted reproductive technology (ART) clinics, private practising psychologists and patient organisations remain accessible regardless of where treatment is taking place.
Source: https://fertilitegrece.com/en/blog/psychological-support-fertility/ — Triada Baloukoudis, IVF patient coordination in Greece. General information, not medical or legal advice. Printed on
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Should you tell your child about egg or sperm donation? What research shows, at what age, with which words, and anonymity in the age of DNA tests.
Read the articleWhat do the cumulative success rates show after 1, 3 or 6 IVF cycles, broken down by age? When does it still make sense to try again.
Read the articleHow long should you wait after a miscarriage? The actual waiting period before trying again, the return of periods, whether or not to have a medical check-up.
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